Recently, I got the following question on Quora, where I usually answer questions from different people all around the world.
The question was – “Can I file a divorce on ground of my husband playing PUBG all the time?”
First of all, I was completely disagreed to the option of divorce, as raised by the asker, but still I tried my best to answer the question relevantly. As I am from law background (in the 2nd year of 3yr law degree course), I clarified in my answer that it was not a ground, as mentioned in the Indian laws. Read my answer to the same here
But somewhere a question that arose in my mind was, that the patience in relations or relationships is deteriorating day by day due to many factors, that lead to such questions being asked. No offence to the asker, but something needs to be addressed in the society to improve the situation.
For example: Lets take a short-example of the scenario to explain things more clearly (I’ll try to be precise :D)
A student “A” is having his board exams and he plays mobile games the whole day. His father or mother are irritated at him doing this. But, what should their ideal approach should be?
(i) They will start beating him straight away and snatch the mobile away from him.
(ii) They will simply talk with him and suggest him to concentrate on studies and leave the phone, by making him understand the pros and cons of this activity of him on his future .i.e. his poor grades.
Now, people will say that the second option is more feasible but some children are stubborn and will not leave the phone. But, if we read the point fully and analyse it, we understand that this approach [the (ii) one] will be make them take their own decisions in the long term by analysing the pros and cons of a thing themselves. And so this approach is to be followed. Though, you will need to correct the kid, if his reasoning is more tilted towards his passion (.i.e. the mobile game).
Now talking about the main topic, in a relationship .i.e. a marriage or a live-in commitment or a BF-GF relationship, you can’t simply convince them just like you do in the above scenario. Because they are not kids 😀
What to do in that scenario?
“Talk” is the ultimate that can be done in this scenario.
Talk with each other, tell them you aren’t comfortable with this particular habit of there’s. There are some de-addicting things that can be done – like uninstalling the particular app, a commitment to use the app at only a fixed time per day, etc.
Gradual improvement will be seen, with much efforts on both parts and things will be solved that ways.
DIVORCE is not a solution to this. Saving your relationship is the first thing you should do.
And if not successful at it. An appointment to a Counsellor/Psychologist is the next plan of action.
I hope there comes no need to move on the next..
Best wishes with you all.. Take care.. Keep reading..
[Note: The article is written just in layman language. Should not be treated as an alternative to any specialist legal/medical/psychological/counselling advice.]